Ups and Downs

No one said that life would be easy. As a matter of fact, most of us learn on the playground that life is anything but easy. But for those of us with special needs children, sometimes we wonder if someone just wants to play with us over and over again. Living with a child (or two) on the spectrum is full of ups and downs. There are many tiny accomplishments that for us as parents seem huge and then there are many disappointments too that seem to bring your world crashing down. Just when things seem to be going really good and in a positive direction someone throws another brick wall right in your way and if you aren't careful, you get smacked in the face with it.

Yesterday was like that for me here. Things have been going so good since we put Justin on his new medication a few months ago. Even better since we started taking off the other one. Even tyler was starting to get less angry and irritable and just yesterday two days ago I found myself taking a deep breath, smiling and actually thinking, I made it through the worst and now things are getting better. It was so nice not dealing with the meltdowns and the fighting. I was actually getting hopeful and was so relieved that I started concentrating on my business that had been neglected a lot lately and I stopped worrying about the kids or getting through the next day.

Then Justin got sick with a cold and has been home most of the week and yesterday that boredom and irritability took its toll. Against my better judgment, but listening to the teacher, I tried to get him to get caught up on homework which only exasperated things and the result was a meltdown worse than any I have ever seen. It ended with his foot going through my window and during the clean up both boys were fighting. I also got a note home that the past two days Tyler has been having problems at school refusing to do work, throwing furniture, etc. And it begins again.

It seems to be like that all the time. You get a brief glimpse of a normal life and then everything comes crashing down. It wouldn't be so bad if the good days out numbered the bad days, but of course it has to be the other way around. Sometimes I find myself wondering how we, as parents, make it through and it is so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can only hope that we survive and at some point there will be peace and calm in the storm.